Where do you find your worth..????
I know the answer should be easy... but often times the head and the heart have two different answers.....
The definition of worth was quite interesting:
*The quality that renders something desirable, useful, or valuable: the worth of higher education.
*Good or important enough to justify (what is specified): advice worth taking; a place worth visiting.
So how much are you and I worth...????
By the worlds standards, apparently not too much... with millions of babies being aborted every year, and murder statistics rising...human life would seem to be "depreciating" quite rapidly....and the value they seem to look at is all to often based on "money"...as stated above...if you can't be "rendered" desirable, or useful than YOU are likely NOT valuable at all. How sad......
But how about God's view on it...????
God's view on worth is SO totally different....He values us as SO IMPORTANT that HE GAVE HIS SON to JUSTIFY us ......we were a people WORTH saving.....
How AWESOME IS THAT.... :)
I have to be honest here, I started this post because I was feeling REALLY worthless, a symptom of my current status in life ...let me explain...
I have 2.5 teenagers in my house who are having their "it's not fair" phases simultaneously... my job puts pressure on me just by the nature of the job to "get it right", (which I seem to mess up quite regularly) , and every-time we seem to get almost to the "top of the hill" financially... we run out of steam and start to slide back down again......
So you can see my dilemma....I have been letting my circumstances decide my worth.....
How silly of me, right..??
Maybe so, but here is where the heart comes in... my heart is heavy with the burden of wanting to "get it right" and not wanting to FAIL at any of my stations in life, being a Mom, or wife, or an employee, or friend, or just plain person...... and I AM FAILING....... on all these fronts it seems... I want to say "Let go and Let God"....but that feels like a cop-out....like I'm expecting Him to fix it all....and truth be told I would love it if He would.. don't think I haven't prayed that prayer.. You know the one, it goes something like "If you would just do this one thing, I'll ........."
So where does the heart go from here...broken, and bruised, how do I stop feeling like a failure......????? How do I fix the broken and mend the bruises......???? These are answers I am on the road to find.....I don't want to mess up with my kids .. there are no do-overs in parenthood, and I don't want to mess up at being a wife, and while I can get another job if I screw this one up..(hopefully), how does that make me look to them...???
Here is where I cling like CRAZY to the cross, to the undeserved mercy, and the never ending grace of my Most Heavenly Father, and pray without ceasing, and give thanks that I have the people I have in my life....
"..being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phillipians 1:6
...and KNOW that I am WORTH saving.....
My sweet girl. I know how very precious you are! Remember, all knew employees mess up and feel like they're blowing it. It takes a complete year before a person feels confident in handling their position. Your teenagers will survive, and thrive, whether they think so or not. They have parents that love them and are honest with them about life's struggles and model for them a life lived in Christ. And money is a struggle for everyone, whether they admit it or not. Even the ones who have plenty struggle with placing their dependence on things and fear of losing it or greed for more. The fact that you are fighting to get out/stay out of debt puts you ahead of most other people.
ReplyDeleteWe all struggle with worth. It's so hard not too. Just yesterday I was feeling great. I had been on top of my schedule, getting lots done. I'd even exercised last week and this week and was liking the way a pair of pants was fitting. Finally inching my way out of my perpetual state of frumpiness. I'd fixed my hair and changed my shirt and was getting ready to go out. I looked in the mirror--when I turned around, there was icing all over the back of my pant leg. From the cake I had not needed to eat with my lunch. All the good things were forgotten. All I heard in my head was how bad I looked, how I messed upp again, how I always ruin everything. I felt like less than nothing. All over a little bit of icing.
It was a lie. I'm worth more than that.
And so are you. Love you.