Second verse, almost the same as the first....

..I am a mess right now , grief is a scary, and sometimes consuming thing.

Last night, while entering my first "post" I received news that a very close "family" friend, ...and by family I mean like literally, he was my husbands very best friend, best-man at our wedding, grew-up together, his mother claimed my husband as another of her children, we are an "adopted" part of their family, included in family get-togethers, so literally more family than friend.....
......last night he left this earth...so,  much of last night I prayed, wanting answers of course. Wanting to help those around him that are now grieving even deeper, than we are. Wishing we could have somehow done something to prevent it. Why this? Why that? All the questions that flood your mind when something you never expected, ...happens.
  So we begin the journey of this new branch on the path of life, down through the  sadness, the feeling of loss, the anger, the side of life we are much less likely to talk about... the side that shows just how little control we really have...and how vulnerable we are when we focus on things that don't really matter, until something like this smacks you in the face.. as if to say..

"Hello, reality here"

  I am not making light of the situation at hand by any means, I am truly, deeply sad, angry, confused, .......and praying....mostly for his immediate family, he was married with two mostly grown kids, his mother, his siblings and their families, for my husband, for our kids...
  So what does all this mean,..time to refocus again.... I hope it means that I will stop taking everyday things for granted, stop worrying about the non-essentials, and more about the people in my life, especially those I call "family" whether that means by blood, faith, or any other means...
   Jesus said to give him our burdens.....wouldn't if be nice if it were as easy as it sounds...I always give them to him.. only to take them back when I don't like the way he is handling them, or when I think he is taking to long....( I know I am not the only one..)..but it is in situations like this that HE is the ONLY one in ANY control... and maybe, just maybe, that is part of the lesson, there is more of course, but maybe just that part is all for right this minute... Just give it to him....
  My apologies if this seems scattered in thought, but today  is one of those days, where emotion runs me, and I seem to have many of them all at once. So they are all running on overload, and this post is what comes out when they do....

Prayers to all the Murray's...may His love cover you all in the days, and months to come.. we are with you both in body and spirit..we love you all dearly.....